8 months has gone by so fast

Portia is growing so fast! She is now 8 months old and is starting to crawl. Here are some videos from the last few days. It is so fun to see her explore the world around her!

Crawling from kathleen rawlinson on Vimeo.

Laundry helper from kathleen rawlinson on Vimeo.

Portia's 1st Christmas

Just a little highlight reel from the holidays! We spent our time visiting family in Tulsa!

Tub time with cousin Luke.

Christmas morning!

(Yes, she is eating a lemon.)

McElroy Summer or Hey, how was your weekend?

I thought since I wrote about my glorious high school job at Sonic, I would write about the next-worst job on my resume: McElroy Manufacturing.

My Carrie-sister and I got summer internship jobs at the manufacturing plant our dad worked at where they build machines used for fusing rubber pipeline together. Carrie was basically a glorified receptionist, and I was the lucky girl to be stationed under John Mink, who had a specific job for my partner, Viktor (a 17 year old Russian, who spoke very broken english) and I. We were to go out into the plant, armed with a notepad and digital camera, and watch the mechanics build the machines. We were then to re-write the instruction books on how to do this task, complete with illustrations. Great. Needless to say, Viktor and I spent alot of time trying to figure out how to accomplish this. We decided that since my grasp of the English language was better, I would be in charge of note-taking and Viktor would take the pictures. After a few weeks, we realized that this was going to take a much longer time than even we thought at first. And it didn't help that John Mink was beginning to worry. Not that he had given us much too difficult a task, but that I was too stupid for the job. You see, John loved Viktor. I mean REALLY loved him. He thought Viktor was the best thing to ever happen to the company. And he thought I was a blooming idiot. One day, he pulled me aside, and informed me that if I wanted, he could teach me how to use the camera. I politely informed him that I already knew how to use it. He said that since he always saw Viktor with it, he thought I must not know how. I tried to help him understand why this was, but he must have stopped listening. A few days later, he tried to teach me how to use the camera. And a few weeks after that he tried again. And a few more times after that. Thanks, John. Really. Thanks.

We now come to Bart Bartlett, or Brett Bretterson as Carrie and I called him. He was the plant manager, whose office was across the aisle from our cubicles. He hated us. He was constantly getting mad at us for being too loud on our lunch breaks, and talking in the hallways. We just decided that maybe he didn't like girls, as we were 2 of 4 that worked in the entire plant. Our suspicions were confirmed, when he asked John Mink to talk to me about "being too pretty" and distracting the workers. Apparently, I was so cute in my steel-toed boots, no makeup, and safety goggles, none of the men in the plant could do anything when I was around, and I should stop it. Brett Bretterson was also the most hilarious person to eavesdrop on. Since his office was so close, Carrie and I could always hear him on the phone cussing out his kid's little league coach, or pondering the quandary: "But what do you do with the dead body in the back of the truck?!?" There are so many more stories I could tell about him (like "32+8=40," "that's feasible," and "you are all asking: You fool, it can't be done!"), but none are as amusing as what's coming next: Bobby.

Bobby was a 40-something mechanic, who had a bit of a crush on me. He always asked me how my weekend was. Always. Every time he saw me. On a wednesday afternoon, he might walk up to me, and in all seriousness say "Hey. How was your weekend?" I never could figure it out. If nothing else, Bobby was definitely generous. At least once a day, usually more, Bobby would go to the vending machine and buy me a package of Peanut MMs. He had never seen me buy them, and never heard me talk about how much I liked them, he just thought it up. Brilliant! At first, I just thought whatever, free candy. But after a few weeks of this, I started giving it away. And after a month, Carrie and my other friends stopped wanting it as well, so I started throwing it away. I still had 2 more months of this. To this day, Peanut MMs still make me want to yak. Finally, the last day of our internship had arrived, and as I was packing up my stuff to leave, my office phone rang. It was Bobby. He wanted to know if I wanted to go out to dinner sometime. Ooooooh dinner! What are we going to have, Peanut MMs? No thanks. Not to mention the fact that Bobby was old enough to be my father. Yuck.

The only thing I liked about that summer was working with Carrie, my dad, Derek, and Sheridan. We had some good times in that break room, watching the price is right and eating love-cookies. Ah, memories.

i am losing my mind

I have debated with myself over and over about sharing this story, as it is a bit embarrassing for me. But, I just can't let the hilarity of it go to waste. So here you are!

Portia has had a very hard time sleeping this week, her teeth are really bothering her at night, so I haven't had alot of rest. Monday night, Brandon and I were headed over to a friend's house, and we decided to bring apple cider (put apple cider, orange slices and cinnamon sticks in the crock pot, yum!). We needed to stop by the grocery store to get the orange slices, so on the way, Brandon pulled up to the door of Target, and I ran in. I hurried to get my stuff, and headed back out to the car. As I left the nice, warm store, I was hit in the face by a freezing cold blast of wind. My hair was whipped into my face, and I could barely see the car just a few feet from the door. Suddenly, someone in the parking lot started honking their horn over and over. What a doofus! Didn't they know that they were annoying everyone in the whole store? And who is the dork who can't find their car, causing the driver to honk incessantly? I got to our car, opened the door and sat down. I turned to mock the horn-honker to Brandon, and was shocked to see a stranger! He was shocked too, and said "You have the wrong car!" Brandon had moved, and another dark colored civic had pulled into his space! I quickly got out and hurried over to Brandon, who, as you might have guessed, was still honking the horn!

What to Expect the First Year

Today was a hard day for us here in the Rawlinson household. Portia didn't sleep well at all last night, and woke up very early this morning, about 15 minutes before Brandon's alarm went off for school. He graciously took Portia to the living room so I could get a few more minutes of sleep, but came to wake me up as he left. Here's were the real trouble started. I didn't wake up. Wednesday is early morning mowing day for the maintenace crew, and I didn't hear him over the roar of lawn mowers, weed eaters, and leaf blowers outside. Portia was playing contently as he left, and he thought I was on my way out to play with her. An hour later, when the mowing ended, I was jerked out of sleep to the sound of screaming in the other room. Portia was all alone and not happy about it. The rest of the day has been along the same lines. Portia is exhausted, but won't sleep for fear of being put down by herself. It is 11:0, and I haven't eaten dinner yet, I haven't even had the chance to go pee in hours. The house is filthy because Portia hasn't let me clean it, and Brandon is off studying for a big test tomorrow. Definitely a hard day. But amidst all the fussing and wails, I have yet to feel regret for the choice we made to start a family.

I have the opportunity to spend time with several young moms at my school, and it is interesting to listen to them talk about their kids. Usually they mention them in congruence with complaints. Their tones are rich with comtempt, and sometimes even disgust, as they blame their children for extra pounds, lack of sleep, and a diminishing social life (as it turns out, binge-drinking and clubbing is a little difficult with a 2 year old at home). I marvel that they can overlook all the innocence and wonder in their children and ignore the pure joy that easily comes with spending time with them.

I am grateful that I belong to a church that teaches the importance of families. The countless General Conference talks, Relief Society lessons, and examples from leaders and fellow members of the church have taught me from childhood that being a mother is the most rewarding and important job I could ever hold. I firmly believe that my purpose on this earth is to raise my children to follow in the footsteps of Christ.

So as I sit here, hungry and tired, typing one-handed and balancing an angry 5-month old in my lap, I am happy and I feel overwhelmingly blessed.

100 reasons why i miss Carrie today

1. car-dancing

2. late night Office marathons

3. how we were always either hobos or clowns for halloween

4. scaring the crap out of her while she's brushing her teeth

5. learning the "seize the day" dance

6. no one making fun of me for wanting to learn the "seize the day" dance

7. farming game

8. fumble

9. dirt clod game

10. mailbox

11. love potion number niyiyiyiyine

12. when she looks at me with a lazy eye

13. the training headset

14. one time, in harry potter...

15. stagnant alligators (gna gna gna)

16. finishing each other's...

17. ...sentences

18. newsies

19. accepted

20. she's the man

21. empire records

22. stake dances

23. gray shirts

24. fleshy trunks

25. being the first ones to know about napolean dynamite

26. being the first ones to know about the numa numa song

27. being the first ones to raise our hands at stake dances

28. being the first ones to slap the ground during the electric slide

29. 32+8=40

30. how funnel cake makes us want to barf

31. how nair makes us want to barf

32. bass pro shop

33. arguing about the saturday chore list
34. tricking her into telling me what she got me for christmas
35. when we got roller blades for christmas and we rode all over town with them
36. using our knee/elbow pads for said roller blades as ice skates
37. "earnest holidays" at grandma's house
38. psych
40. she's an incredible long-jumper (pretty sure she set some kind of a record)
41. primary song karaoke
42. making bracelets
43. if there is any leftover pizza anywhere ever, carrie will eat it. (really?)
44. how we both detest janice kapp perry
45. the best spring break ever, spent in provo, while i barfed all week.
46. the rescue raft
47. taking "pictures" in the bathroom mirror
48. fantasia
49. swan princess
50. beauty and the beast
51. girl's camp
52. putting up with the annoying kids next door so we could play on their trampoline
53. how she always wins monopoly
54. how i always win chess
55. making fun of people everywhere we happen to be
56. making fun of people secretly to their face
57. we have the same awesome taste in shoes
58. the time i tried to make her mountain climb with the jump rope and the swing set
59. track/xc
60. our stylish hairdos in elementary school
61. our really stylish outfits in elementary school
62. how mom loves me better
63. the first time we ever flew/why i never make a lollipop sound with my mouth
64. she's a pretty choice piece of real estate
65. the musical episode of Aurthur
66. how we always get hit on when we go to Sam's
67. how we have perfected the art of multiple sampling at Sam's
68. playing in between the aisles at Sam's
69. she was once in the worst movie ever.
70. the odd things that happen to us in libraries
71. hey. how was your weekend?
72. Wang
73. Chang
74. she writes me songs for the lonely, but not by cher
75. she has an answer when i ask "you fool, it cant be done!"
76. we could never be in hufflepuff
77. the grape game
78. i woke up sunday morning, and looked upon the wall, the bed bugs and the cooties, were playing a game of ball. the score was six to nothing, the cooties were ahead. the bed bugs hit a home run, and knocked me out of bed, i'm singing. eenie meenie and a minie mo. catch a whipper snapper by the toe and if he holler waller wallers, don't let him go, i'm singing, eenie meenie and a minie moe.
79. like totally, for sure, i just got my manicure! the sun, i swear, its bleaching out my hair! 32, 24, i dont know that stupid score! go, go, fight, fight! gee, i hope i look alright!
80. golden throat? this is jazz square. we may have a problem.
81. what the heck are those two doin in a tree?!?
82. riding our bikes down "dog alley"
83. sweet tart slushes
84. tootsie roll slushes
85. never ever finding the candy aisle in Reasors
86. she is smarter then me
87. she is motivated in everything she does.
88. she has a wicked sense of humor
89. she was there when my daughter was born
90. she is way cute
91. she has always been there for me when i needed her
92. she is one of the best examples of friendship in my life
93. she has never let me down
94. she makes me happy
95. she's my best friend
96. she makes me want to be better
97. she is my other half
98. she misses me
99. she loves me unconditionally
100. i love her even more

my inner struggle

Those of you who see me often probably notice that my hair changes alot. I usually get bored with it about once a month, and have to do something different. That is why my hair has been colored 5-7 times and cut 2-4 times since Portia was born. I realized that I have been trying to find the happy median between edgy and hip, and being a mom. My problem is that I want to look like what I am: a hair stylist. I adore crazy colors, dramatic cuts, and obnoxious styles. I am never satisfied with my hair when it is symmetrical, or all one color. In college, I once came accross a picture of Joss Stone (above), and I loved her hair. I admire her courage and style, and her ability to pull something like that off. I desperately want my head to look like that. But do I dare put hot pink, purple, and red streaks throughout my entire head? No, because I have a strange fear of Portia, when 15, looking at pictures of her mother and thinking, "What an idiot." So, for now, I'll have to be content with being a brunette. Hmmm, maybe with slight hues of violet and red.